So the Celtics are up 2-0 in the NBA Finals.  Good times, as the Celtics got so little respect that sports pundits are shocked…by the team with the best record in the regular season.  So shocked that it’s excuse time.  Paul Pierce was faking it.  The refs didn’t call any fouls for the Lakers.  And the all time best, that the rims at the TD BankNorth Garden were tight.  Though Sasha Vujacic failed to figure out that both teams play on the same rims, one half each and that both teams get to shoot around before the game and at halftime.  He must be yearning for the Paris Hilton-like rims of the Staples Center.  (And what does “tight rims” even mean?  Rims lined with clay?  Made out of bean bags?  And how do the Celtics get an advantage with “tight rims”?  Shoot softer?  Maintain a height advantage over weaker rebounding teams, like…um…the Lakers?  Oh there it is.  Vujacic is upset the Lakers are soft and short.)

And just when I thought unjustified hate in our sports had reached an all-time high, Lamar Odom wants to make money for his charity.  (Which is great.  I don’t think athletes’ charitable works are reported enough.)  But he teamed up with the Sneaker store Undefeated to sell $20 T-shirts that look like this (Thanks to Lion In Oil for the pics):

If you’re going to hate for hate’s sake, couldn’t you be a little more clever about it?  Or how about factually accurate, since the Celtics have the most championships in the NBA, including 8 out of 10 against the Lakers.  Or most importantly, YOU’RE LAMAR ODOM!  You’re a 3rd option on a team with the MVP and the best player in the game.  Your coach has called you out for disappearing in games.  You’ve scored 24 games in the two games COMBINED!  Leon Powe has outscored you in the Finals.

Tune in for a night of excuses from 7-10 ET tonight, as no doubt Matt “The Mad Hater” Doolittle will think this shirt is awesome.

If Game Show was around a year ago, and I told you I that Kobe Bryant not only would not be traded, that he would win his first MVP, it would have sounded strange.  But stranger than saying he would face the Boston Celtics in the Finaals?  The 2nd worst team in the league last year BOSTON CELTICS!?!?  I would have lost all credibility and you would have been lookig for another live broadcast trivia website for your sports trivia needs.  (What?  We’re the only one?  Well… I guess you would have just had to text in that I was nuts.)

Am I nuts to think that the Celtics will win?  Has the best team in the regular season ever gotten less respect?  This team won 9 more games that the Lakers and a little over 38% of the over 275,000 people who voted on ESPN.com think the Celtics can win.  That’s nuts.

The Lakers have Kobe, who no doubt can go off for 50 at any point.  But everyone doubts the toughness of the Celts Big Three.  Lamar Odum is not exactly Willis Reed.  He can easily lose his way.  Even Phil Jackson has said so.  And we have no idea what Pau Gasol will do on the big stage.  The Big Three all know this may be the only chance, and they won’t let the spazzy Rajon Rondo ruin it. 

You never know what will rattle a player on the Big Stage.  Maybe the Boston Herald can run with the random “Kobe/Laker Girl” rumors and print a story with no evidence what-so-ever.  They did it once…  Or leave the dirty work to thedirty.com.

 I’m going Celtics in 6, only because of the ridiculous 2-3-2 schedule.  In that scenario, they need to hold serve at home and win just 1 on the road.  (And stay away from a Game 7 and the 50 point Kobe legend-maker.) 

3 for 4 on my NBA Semi’s picks.  Not Bad.  Though I have no idea how to kill off the Spurs.   Gonna go with the Celtics and Lakers, both in 7 for this round.  Third time’s a charm, right?

Amid rumors that Kobe was having a slightly more private affair with a Laker Girl, here’s a video where he teams up with the Jackass guys to jump over a pool of snakes.  Black Mambas, anyone?  (The car is better, but Nike has to love the publicity…)

Now that I’ve come down from my ledge, landing softly on a 34 point Celtics win in Game 7, I can comfortably come into work tonight and make my picks for the Conference Semis in the NBA.  (Not that my first round picks went so well…)

Eastern Conference

(1) Celtics over (4) Cavaliers in 6 - How’s this for looking at the positive:  Doc Rivers is no longer the coach of the Tracy McGrady First Round Playoff All-Stars.  No?  How ’bout, the Celtics got more playoff experience together as a team.  Like it?  Yeah, let’s go with that.  Nice to see the defense on display this afternoon.  A few, well-placed P.J. Brown/Leon Powe hard fouls on LeBron and the Cavs fold like your grandmother playing poker.

(2) Pistons over (3) Magic in 5 - This is the Eastern Conference version of the Suns/Spurs “rivalry”.  And by “rivalry”, I mean where one team is so far inside the other’s head that there is no way they can win 4 out of 7.  The Magic played a great first half last night.  But that ugly thought of, “We just can’t beat these guys,” has to be front and center in Orlando’s mind.

Western Conference

(1) Lakers over (4) Jazz in 7 - I think this series will be tougher than most think.  The Utah pick-and-roll combo of Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer could make for an almost unguardable match-up for the Lakers.  But they have the ultimate equilizer in one Kobe Bryant.  He should abuse Andrei Kirilenko, who no doubt has saved up his yearly “bite of strange pizza” for this trip to LA and will be scanning the crowd for starlets.  Lindsey Lohan, white courtesy phone. 

(6) Suns over (7) Mavericks in 6 - Oh yeah.  That didn’t happen.  Mike D’Antoni will land on his feet, either staying in the desert or Chicago or New York.  Avery Johnson?  Not so much…

(2) Hornets over (3) Spurs in 7 - Yup.  I’m picking against the Spurs again.  I either really believe in Chris Paul making his mark deep into these playoffs or I want to see Spurs fans come up with excuses why their team can’t win back to back titles, but are still a dynasty.  Of course, I could also be an idiot for picking against a team that simply knows how to win any big game put in front of them when they play a team full of guys essentially making their playoff debut.

One more note, as soon as a baseball fits into my son’s hand, I’m teaching him how to pitch.  I thought my days of sweating out Eric Gagne save opportunities were over when the Brewers were stupid enough to give him a 1 year/$10 MILLION contract, but no.  Since I have Ben Sheets on my fantasy team, I have to sweat 20% of the time.  Gagne, who is tied for the NL lead in saves, by the way, blew his 5th save this afternoon by walking 3 in the ninth, including the tying run with the bases loaded.  Manager Ned Yost is going to call George Karl to find out what brand of scotch he drinks on the sidelines.  Why do I bring this up here?  Because starting Monday at 6:30 ET, tune into GameShow early for some sweet Fantasy Baseball nastiness, where we’ll talk about Eric Gagne, Arizona’s hot start, Scott Kazmir’s season debut and much, much more.  $10 Million for Gagne… I can’t wait for little Zachary Cause’s major league debut.

GameShow is all about testing your sports IQ, right?  And as the NFL prepares for the Draft, one of the key numbers along side 40 times and vertical leaps is the Wonderlic Score, a general test designed to measure problem solving and intelligence.  The real test is 50 questions in 12 minutes, but you can take a sample, smaller Wonderlic here and see if you can score better than Vince Young did when he took it, since he got a 6.  (He took it again and scored a 16.  Congrats!  The average is 20.)

Through various sources, I compiled a list of some of this year’s prominent recruits and their leaked Wonderlic scores.  Keep them in mind as you watch the Draft tomorrow and hope your team drafts intelligently:

Round by Round picks for the NBA.  This first round shouldn’t take long.  Oh, that’s right.  The first round of the NBA Playoffs takes a month.  It’s awful.  David Stern’s obsession with Sunday afternoons.  I swear if he could get away with just Sunday games for the opening round, he would. But here’s who I think will win:

Eastern Conference

(1) Boston Celtics over (8) Atlanta Hawks in 4 - I don’t even think 1 game will be under double digits.  A team full of pros gets in, gets their wins, and gets their rest, while Cleveland and Washington kill each other over the next 4 weeks of Sunday games.

(2) Detroit Pistons over (7) Philadelphia 76ers  in 5 - I’ll give Mo Cheeks one game at home.  But again, a team of pros, who have been there before, leave little doubt.

(3) Orlando Magic over (6) Toronto Raptors in 6 - The first playoff round win for the Magic in 12 years, but afterall, they’re the Magic, so they’ll scare you a little.  This is what the playoffs look like Rashard.

(5) Washington Wizards over (4) Clevland Cavaliers in 7 - Washington comes into these playoffs the exact opposite of last year.  Despite what Charles Barkley says, Gilbert Arenas wants to make his free agent money and the only way he can is putting the money where is mouth is.  Hibachi!

Western Conference

(1) Los Angeles Lakers over (8) Denver Nuggets in 5 - The Nuggets have been eliminated in the first round of the playoffs since ‘Melo was in 3rd grade and watched Dikembe Mutombo lift the ball over his head on the court vs the Sonics.  Facing the resurgent Lakers isn’t going to help that.  They get one game to save face, as they always do, but Kobe isn’t getting stopped here.  Unless ‘Melo’s driving his car. (Oh, ZING!)

(7) Dallas Mavericks over (2) New Orleans Hornets in 6 - Here’s where one of the NBA’s best stories end.  And every Kobe for MVP supporter gains ammo.  Is it really an upset when all these teams finished within 7 games of each other?  Winning in the first round will get Eric’s hopes up enough to be crushed with a 2nd round loss.  Everyone wins!

(3) Phoenix Suns over (6) San Antonio Spurs in 7 - This series has it all.  Rematch of last year’s playoff showdown.  Defending champions.  One of the last chances for a franchise that has bet everything on this year.  And best of all, Shaq.  Here’s the entire reason Steve Kerr brought Shaq to the desert.  It’s just a shame it happens in the first round.  But at least everyone will get plenty of rest as David Stern tries to get this series in to June.

(4) Utah Jazz over (5) Houston Rockets in 6 - Despite what Rick Bucher says… well, no.  He’s right.  Aside from the Mormon comment, Utah is boring.  Seriously.  Drive it sometime.  And make sure you get good gas mileage, because you’ll want to get through it as fast as possible.  As for the series, could Tracy McGrady go O-for-his career in the first round?  Add another notch to the Wiki page as Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer pick and roll them to death.

Joe Calzaghe over Bernard Hopkins, uni. decision - That Light Heavyweigh bout is tonight and I thought I’d chime in.  Calzaghe is one of my favorites and Hopkins is 146 years old.  He won’t be able to keep up with Calzaghe’s pace and power.

After the Red Sox finished off back-to-back 9th inning victories over the Cleveland Indians, they prepared for their next 2 games against the Evil Empire.  Now, who doesn’t love Red Sox/Yankees, other than those of you who might be a titch tired of the hype, but a few questions come to mind about this schedule.  Like, who makes up the schedule and why on God’s green Earth do you play 2 game series?  I cannot stand the home and home series, a week apart.  That throws the competetive balance of a division way off based on how teams are going at the time.  The Red Sox will play the first 5 of 18 games against the Yankees this season without Mike Lowell.  Same for the Yankees, as Derek Jeter missed the first 3, while Jorge Posada can only DH.  After tomorrow night, the Sox and Yanks don’t play again until Fourth of July Weekend.  Know why there are some who can’t stand the Rivalry?  Because it’s played out ad nauseum for almost 10 days straight, each time they meet.  Maybe, just maybe, those games should be spread out.  And I hope the Red Sox fans in Clevaland enjoyed the past two at Jacobs Progressive Field, since those will be the only two there this season.  Yeah, after those two teams went to game 7 in the 2007 ALCS, who wants more of those games?  Nope, let’s wrap that up by 2nd week of April. 

I’ll stop here, since Eric will stop reading anyway, and leave you with one new Red Sox fan who’s ready for tonight…

Couple of items jumped out to me as I prepped up for tonight’s show, so what better time for another Shotgun Blast…

• How long before Marion Jones’s relay teammates rent the first season of Prison Break, get tattoos, and find a way to shank Marion in the Boneyard?  The International Olympic Committee voted to strip Jones’s relay mates of their 1600m gold medals and 400 m bronze from the 2000 Sydney Games.  Is that a raw deal or what?  I understand you win as a team and lose as a team (just ask Terrell Owens), but they weren’t cheating as a team.  If they were, we would have heard about it by now.  Hopefully, they can go to a jeweler who can make a fake of their medal and return that.  They shouldn’t have to pay the price for Jones’s mistake outright cheating.
• I love me some South Park, but I’m not sure I can bring myself to watch last night’s episode that currently sits in my TiVo.  I’ve seen clips.  I get it.  The time for it was last fall, but since they only do 8 episodes a year, the timing must have off.  (No doubt Team America: World Police 2 drafts are taking up their time.)  And a lot of cojones to talk about cheating, when their Broncos have been chop blocking for the past 10 years.   How else does Olandis Gary get 1,000 yards and then go right into witness relocation?  Hey Trey and Matt, how’s the view from that glass house?
• Open note to all media: stop talking to Brett Farve.  He’s the Brittany Spears of sports media.  Not that I don’t go to the Biloxi Sun Herald for all my breaking sports needs, but enough already.  This story is for all the Skip Bayless-es of the world who can’t see Brett retiring.  Congrats.  You got your quote of hope that Brett will be back without having to go through training camp.  Now if only Matt Walsh has 100 tapes of the Patriots opponents of the last 7 years, your life will be complete.
• Stupid quick-healing Dirk Nowitzki.  The plan was perfect.  Now you’re primed for that unbelievable run in the playoffs that I have to hear about for 3 weeks before they run out of gas in the Western Finals.  On second thought, maybe elevating Eric’s hopes again only to dash them might be sweeter.
• Happy Birthday to my Mom!

Maybe you missed this from last week.

Let’s hear it for Russian tennis… (though, not to split hairs, I’m not a huge fan of Maria’s bangs…)

Next time we’ll go for a weeknight, since Sundays may be tough for some of you.  But here are the winners for April 6th:

Bronze - jermonk21:  i lost cuz carl edwards backflipped onto my keyboard [Famous Backups Vol. 1] (Strong.  Topical.  Hopefully the keyboard passes post-race inspection.)

Silver - londawg2869:  I have to write Arthur Blank for the answers.  [College Football: 2003]  (Hopefully, Arthur Blank includes a $20 Home Depot gift card with those answers.  Or is that money going to the Latin gang that is supposedly protecting Michael Vick in prison.)

Gold - Emmasdad1129:  I lost because I’m in the Detroit Tigers room.  [College Football: 2003]  (Even a blind pig finds an acorn once in a while.  Or a tiger finds a Vegas magician.)

Until next time…